


Between the Bars

by redasblood



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, unsavory werewolf shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-08
Updated: 2012-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 06:24:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redasblood/pseuds/redasblood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruby Lucas is a werewolf. Werewolves can't exist in our world. If Regina had known of the consequences her actions would have on Ruby, she might have done things differently. But it's too late for that now.<br/>They both have to suffer their fate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between the Bars

**** **_They find you on the edge of the woods, asleep, naked, blood caked on your face, the torn-up remains of a young shepherd ten feet away from you. You can still taste him. His flesh was tender, like a lamb's._ **

**_“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you tell the shepherds mother as they take you away. She spits in your face._ **

**_You’re brought before the queen with your hands and feet in chains and you dare not look into her eyes. She lifts up your chin with a soft, bejeweled hand. Her face is like the moon. You look at her and feel the beast roar deep inside your stomach._ **

**_“You don’t look like a monster,” she says._ **

**_“_ But I am, your majesty, I am _” – and there’s an unspoken plea in your words –_ kill me, have me burned, rip out my heart, exterminate me like a pest. Please. Please. **

**_She doesn’t kill you._ **

So this is the part of the night where it starts to _hurt._

There's a disease under your skin, poison in your blood - pain spreading from your chest to every part of your body - a white-hot, paralyzing sensation - and all you can do is wait for it to get worse. It always gets worse.

You wonder, briefly, what you have done to deserve this - but this isn't about punishment. You know that. Have always known it. But still you cling to the tiny speck of hope that you will, somehow, be able to redeem yourself - be able to do penance for this unknown crime you have committed - because punishments end. One shows contrition. A sacrifice is made. A girl cuts off her hair, walks bare-feet over glowing embers.

Punishments end. A fate is forever.

Pain like a punch in the stomach from the inside out and you double over, arms wrapped around your torso. You look up to see your reflection in the bedroom mirror and for a moment you expect to see it, the beast – expect to see coarse hair, yellow eyes, protruding fangs - but of course there’s just your own face, looking pale and somewhat sickly in the moonlight that streams in through the window.  

**_“Such a pretty face,” she queen says. She’s dressed you up like a doll, all in red, and your skin smells of amber. “But I suppose that will change any moment now.”_ **

**_She’s had a cage wrought out of silver for you. It’s a precaution rather than a prison. On any other day of the month, you’re allowed to go wherever you please – as long as you stay within the confines of the palace ( and really, where else would you go? )._ **

**_The ceiling of the room is made of glass, and when you look up the moon taunts you with the inevitability of what is to come, any moment now – you’re aware of the changes taking place inside your body, organs rearranging itself to make room for the beast that is fighting its way to the surface -_ **

**_The queen steps closer to your cage, beckoning you with an outstretched finger. You bring you face closer to the silver bars. She kisses the shell of your ear and whispers, smiling: “Howl for me, darling.”_ **

Your body houses a monster and it's clawing at your insides, begging you to release it - but this world doesn't work like that - the monsters stay hidden here, always, trapped inside a human body and you can't help that, but still, your monster is furious and desperate to get out. It doesn't hurt you out of malice, but in blind panic - a creature yanking wildly at the bars of its cage –

You’re no heroine ( maybe you were, once, in a different place, a different time – but pain makes cowards out of people ). You’re not fighting the monster. If only you could open the gates wide, free the beast, make the pain stop, you would – consequences be damned.  

Maybe this _is_ a punishment. Maybe the offense is _being a monster._

**_“How does it feel?” the queen asks. You’re in her bed, clothes in a heap on the floor. It’s been minutes since you last felt her mouth on your skin but she’s already fully dressed, like this is your room and she’s the one about to be dismissed with a casual hand gesture, rather than the other way around. “You’ve never told me. I suppose I’ve never asked.”_ **

**_It’s been fourteen days since your last transformation, and you momentarily resent her for reminding you of it._ **

**_“It’s…” You consider lying to her. But the queen doesn’t appreciate being lied to, and, frankly, you’ve done enough lying for a lifetime._ **

**( Imagine running, faster than you ever thought possible - feeling the earth crumble under your paws - the smell of the night air tickling your snout - looking up and seeing the moon smiling at you, like a faithful mother watching over her child. Imagine devouring something living, ripping it open in a frenzy, feeling its warm blood run over your tongue and down your fur - )**

**_“… it’s the greatest feeling in the world.”_ **

**_You can’t quite read the expression on the queens face and for a moment you think it’s anger, but then she sits down on her knees next to be bed and takes your face in her hands and looks at you, just looks at you, and there are tears in her eyes – but they’re not tears of sadness or compassion. “Thank you,” she says. “Thank you.”_ **

There’s just pain now. The beast growls and snarls and puts its teeth into your insides once more, to no avail. The key to its cage remains in a place that you might never see again.

And then she's there.

"Oh darling girl," she says, what have I done to you?"

You can’t see her, are blinded by white flashes of pain, but then your head is in her lap and she traces lines along your collarbones with cool, soothing fingers. She smells of amber - still. Her voice is like an ointment to your ailing mind. 

“Forgive me,” she whispers, repeating it over and over , “forgive me, please.”

And you can’t speak and you won't remember any of this is the morning, but you've forgiven her already, you forgive her every time – because really, what is there to forgive?  

There’s one last thought in your mind before you lose all sense of consciousness: _it might be my fate, but it’s Regina’s punishment._

_“ **I don’t deserve this,” you tell her, the coppery taste of blood still lingering on your tongue. “I don’t deserve any of this. I will always be a monster. You ought to have killed me years ago.”**_

**_“Maybe you’re right,” she says, raising an eyebrow at the sight of the servant’s body on the floor, intestines spilling from his belly. She places the slender silver crown on your head and smiles, baring her teeth like a snarling animal. “But monsters need company, you know.”_ **


End file.
